Whilst the gypsy-on-heroin look appeared to cut a dash at the goose-fair this month, back on campus, things aren’t looking so rock-n-roll. Since the 90’s, we’ve been hearing of the allure of ‘geek chic’ and, as always, done right, it’s a winner. For those of you who aren’t loving this season’s penchant for all things biker, then a pair of brogues and floral tea-dress might be the antidote you’re after. However, it’s come to our attention that for every student who gets it right, at least ten will get it wrong. Very wrong. The clue is in the ‘chic’ part of this trend, but apparently someone forgot to tell those people chillaxin’ with their equations at the George Green library. Not to be dramatic, but ten minutes in that place is essentially a lifetime in fashion purgatory – if the place between this life and the next was the sale rail at Millets.
Don’t. Wear. A. Fleece. Should come right after ‘Thou shalt not steal’ in the Ten Commandments. Never before has man seen a fuzzier form of contraception. I know they are practical, warm, safe and can come in almost any colour (probably to match your pencil case) but they are hideous. This should be a time to celebrate; cardigans and jumpers are more than just socially acceptable, they’re a wardrobe staple. If you’ve already spent your entire student loan on a fleece for every day of the week then don’t even worry: Mum’s sheep-emblazoned oversize jumper from the 80’s will do nicely, and you can get extra credit from your environmental engineering tutor for the impromptu recycling effort.
Fleece safely thrown in the River Trent and all photographic evidence destroyed, something may still be holding you back. I say this because I’m pretty sure Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was never ‘in’ so the insistence on carrying your life around on your back like an amphibian is, frankly, odd. We all know the importance of accessorising an outfit, but the backpack is second only to the f-word (fanny-pack) in the list of heinous fashion crimes. Would it kill you to carry a handbag? Would the sky fall in if your Pukka Pad had to be hand-held? No. And don’t try the old ‘I cycle to Uni so I need a back-pack’ ruse: Get a basket. I appreciate this may seem harsh, but really, we’re just trying to help. Of course it’s only advice and if you choose to ignore it then that’s fine. But if you could stop wearing the fleece that would be great because it’s hurting my eyes.