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Truelad.com

An online Mecca to self proclaimed LADs (and I use the caps on purpose) everywhere, TrueLad.com grows in readership and infamy by the day. Popular procrastination as it may be, the fact that most of the anecdotes on the site are either misogynistic or sex-related and sick-makingly disgusting should put me off. And yet, in my innocent quest to find some material for this article, I’ve just spent the best part of 2 hours on the bloody thing, reading through a respectable 19 pages of laddidity. Why?! I so badly wanted to hate TrueLad, planning to condemn it in a tirade of semi-feminist outrage as a sordid, pig-headed symbol of everything that is wrong with the male sex. But sadly, parts of it are too funny to denounce TrueLad in its entirety.

In my defence, the ones that amuse me tend not to be about sex or forcing women to make sandwiches. NB: stories always end in some form of the word ‘lad’ and are rated using a ‘Good Lad’ or ‘Shit Lad’ voting system. Some are life affirming: “Sat on train to Birmingham approaching Wigan and train driver shouts ‘THIS IS WIGAN!’ in the style of ‘This is Sparta’ on the microphone! Train banter LAD” (896 Good Lads, 11 Shit Lads). Some are political: “Just served Gordon Brown at McDonalds – drive through LAD”. A rating of 254 Good Lads to only 52 Shit Lads here suggests that the former PM is far more popular among the lad sector of the population than the nation as a whole. A key demographic to target in the future, Mr Cameron. Some statements are genuinely lovely testaments to the fact that a ‘lad’ can be more than a heartless, woman-bashing bastard: “I love my mum. LAD” (490/46). Even the ones that do concern sex can be more of a giggle than they are gag-worthy: “I’m ginger and I’ve had sex. Against all odds LAD” (581/19).

I wouldn’t dare write on it. Anything posted by a girl cringe-worthily claiming to be a ‘LADETTE’/‘LADESS’ or horror of all horrors, telling a ‘lad’ to make a sandwich for them is automatically abused with a barrage of dislikes. But why would a girl want to be complicit in what is 90% an anti-female forum anyway? For now, it’s probably best to leave the lads to it. Girls will doubtless have their own (possibly slightly less nauseating) equivalent in time, hopefully adorned with stories of females getting one over on the boys who currently, due to TrueLad, think they’re more untouchable than MC Hammer. Until then, TrueLad remains a strictly male phenomenon. End of article LAD.

Gabby Dematteis

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