Blagger’s Guide To Gallery Visitors

Half the fun of visiting galleries is the people-watching. We’ve narrowed down a few gallery going types to look out for:

The Lost (pickled) Sheep – Easy to spot by their confused or terrified expressions, Lost Sheep make up a large proportion of visitors. They don’t know Manet from Monet, and might think that the Prado is an Italian fashion label. But the good news for lost sheep is that they won’t stay lost for long – everyone has to start somewhere.

The Moaning Lisa – Common in children, but the older they get, the more pretentious the complaints. Recognisable by their slow shuffle and audible sighs, they just don’t want to be there. Try to avoid them at all costs; encounters can be severely detrimental to your gallery experience and emotional health.

Girl With a Pearl Earring (and brogues and a sketch book) – This group includes both art students and people that think they should have been art students. Girls With Pearl Earrings may be able to make you feel inadequate faster than you can say ‘Banksy sold out’, but it’s unlikely they’ll ever talk to you anyway.

The Thinker – Occasionally mistaken for tour guides given their authoritative tone and tweed blazers, so remember to look out for name badges before you start following them around. If they’ve got knowledge or an opinion you can be sure they’ll share it. Loudly.

Melanie Solomon & Victoria Urquhart

ArtsArts Reviews

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