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True Crime on Campus

The following security reports are all real incidents that happened on campus throughout the past year. Our superb security staff have to put up with an awful lot in order to keep the University safe, and the following highlights merely scratch the surface.  All credit and many thanks go to Dr Paul Greatrix for these campus reports, which can be found on his blog www.registrarism.wordpress.com.

00:40 Report that 3 males were fishing in the lake at the front of the Exchange Building on Jubilee Campus. Security attended and, after checking that they had no fish on them, moved them on.

02:10 Report of a tarantula in a room in Southwell Hall. Security was told that the spider had gone under the bed. After a careful search by Security Officers, a small house spider was captured and removed from campus. The occupant of the room confirmed that the spider was the one they had seen.

04:10 Report of a disturbance outside Rutland Hall. Security attended and asked seven very drunk students to keep the noise down as other students had exams. The students tried to bribe the Security Officers with spaghetti before returning quietly to their Halls.

08:45 Request for Security to attend an office in Trent Building. A member of staff had a pigeon in his office, which would not leave. Security attended and the pigeon was escorted from the building.

10:15 Report of a male talking to a wall at the rear of the Biology Building. Security attended and the male was identified to be a member of staff – he stated that he was working through a mathematical problem and would be returning to his office after lunch.

11:00 Report of a strange man walking around the Music School playing a guitar. Security attended – no one matching that description was found.

12:55 Report of a person trapped in mud in the lake adjacent to University Park. After a search, a female was found stuck in the mud up to her waist. The Fire Service was called; they were able to extract the female from the mud. No explanation was given as to why she was in the mud.

13:25 Report of an argument at Costa Coffee in Portland Building. Security Officers were informed that a customer was complaining that there were worms in a cake they had purchased. Security Officers and the café staff examined the cake but no worms were found. The customer was provided with a new cake.

14:45 Report of a smell of burning coming from a kitchen in Derby Hall. Security and the Fire Service attended. They discovered that a microwave had been placed on a cooking hob, which was on. The microwave had started to melt.

16:45 Report of youths urinating and spitting on vehicles, and swearing at passing students. On checking the CCTV, the youths were found to be a group of children aged about 5 to 7 years old. The Police will be informed to see if they can give advice to their parents.

17:35 Security received a complaint of a couple in the male toilet adjacent to the Senate Chamber making a film. Security Officers banged on the toilet door and a couple came out. The male was told to get dressed.

18:40 Report of a suspicious package in the Nottingham Medical School. Security removed it from the building. On examination, the package was found to contain a tin of gravy granules.

20:45 Report of a student with a cut to his face in the Portland Building. Security Officers attended and gave First Aid. The student stated that he was part of an event with the Hide and Soc Society, and had banged his face whilst hiding behind a chair.

22:30 Report of noise coming from the Quidditch match being played at the rear of Lincoln Hall. Security attended and spoke to the players.

23:25 Report that a pirate had taken a picture off the wall at Hugh Stewart Hall. The pirate had gone in the direction of Mooch Bar. Security attended Mooch Bar where they found over 40 pirates, none of whom had the picture.

Fiona Crosby

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2 Comments on this post.
  • P Brook
    8 October 2011 at 01:20
    Leave a Reply

    superb

  • Mackin The
    8 October 2011 at 09:04
    Leave a Reply

    really good article tbh.

  • Leave a Reply