Take note: if you invite me into your January Sales shopping posse, the response you’ll get is a blank stare. An 150,000m² shopping centre, filled to the brim with abusive customers, moody retail assistants and a distinct lack of breathing space isn’t how I like to spend the first month of a new year.
I have never understood the obsession with January sales. I’ve always regarded shopping as a leisurely activity; that indulgent way to unwind from your busy week and to catch up with your girlfriends, particularly in the holidays. But no more; shopping centres in January are like battlefields and frankly, it’s infuriating.
Ever seen Mean Girls? That scene where the shopping centre turns into a jungle? A solid comparison if there ever was one. Fully functioning humans turn into animals, literally fighting over a reduced pair of shorts, profanities flying everywhere. Hundreds of buggies lock together, creating an impossible maze, screaming toddlers included – it’s like the mothers do it on purpose, to stop you searching through the 75% reduction section before they do. I remain baffled as to why anyone would willingly subject themselves to such chaos, just off the hem of a relaxed Christmas holiday.
Most shops pride themselves on their customer service, but this seems to go up in smoke in the New Year. Any other time of the year, a sales assistant would easily check stock for me. In January however, a dismissive attitude with rolling-eyes is a more common response. It’s practically insulting, so much so that last time, I snorted, dropped the pair jeans on the floor in front of her and strutted out the store. Hating your job and the seasonal stresses it brings doesn’t mean you can get away with rude behaviour, nor should my shopping experience suffer.
Regardless of the incentive of a great bargain, I’m just not interested in the January Sales. Last season’s collections, inevitably a size too big, just aren’t worth the excessive stress and panic.