Night out before a 9am? Impact Columnist Louisa Clack explains how to get the best of both worlds.
12am. Going out on Monday night, what could possibly go wrong? You’re going to be sensible and get in before 1am. Your mate drags you over to the bar and you insistently slur “Nopecando, 9am tomorrow!” Your protests are shot down in a flood of Jaegerbombs. Somehow this magical fuel increases your confidence. You feel great! You’ll definitely make it to your lecture tomorrow. You’ll just stay for one more song.
2.30am: you’re galloping around the dance floor yelling “GANGNAM STYLE!” Maybe it’s time to go home. Crashing contentedly onto your bed as the sun peaks majestically over the horizon; currently, you do not regret your decision.
7.30am: your alarm is screaming at you. You scream back, but all that comes out is a gargled grunt. Prising open your eyes very slowly, you realise the room is spinning. Yep, definitely still drunk. Time for your lecture! How are you feeling now?
We’ve all been there and somehow we never learn. But you can’t always sleep through lectures; you are paying for this degree lark after all. Look at your mate, who not 4 hours ago, was drunkenly dancing with a traffic cone in the street. Today he bounds into the lecture hall, bright eyed and bushy tailed, without a glimpse of a hangover. He writes five pages of notes whilst all you managed to achieve was a doodle of a cow. It is possible and now you can do it too.
Step 1: Caffeine – this should be your first port of call. Have it in any form. You can get jars of chocolate coated coffee beans on the internet, just saying.
Step 2: Water – keeping hydrated. It will not only nurse your hangover but the coldness will jolt you awake.
Step 3: Wear something itchy – that scratchy jumper your Gran knitted for Christmas finally has a use. Even in the warm lecture hall with the lights dimmed, the discomfort of angora will mean that you won’t be able to rest – concentrating on your lecture will be a welcome distraction.
Step 4: Get an irritating song in your head: If you implant it into your subconscious mind, as soon as your start to nod off, it will be there to keep you awake. Favourites include Call Me Maybe and Starships.
Step 5: Chew gum: the mint taste may assault your senses but the regular movement will keep you alert.
Step 6: Move around as much as possible: Drum on your legs, shift in your seat, shake your head; anything to keep the blood flowing. The person next to you may punch you in the face which will definitely wake you up.
And if all else fails: sit at the back, wear sunglasses and get the powerpoint on Moodle later.