The End Is Not Nigh

Recent reports indicate that, contrary to popular belief, the world has not ended.

The countdown for the end of the world, today at 11.11am, has been going on since the Mayans predicted it sometime between 250-900 AD.

But latest news from NASA reveals that the hype around the Mayan calendar 2012 end of the world prophecy was nothing more than a “misconception”.

Many people have spent their possible last day on Earth as though it were simply any other day of the year. Others however, are going down-with-a-BOOM at End of the World parties.

Rock City in Nottingham advertised their End of the World club night by saying, “You have no time for redemption or to repent. You can’t save yourself or anyone else. There is only one thing to do. Party!”

Some who didn’t want to risk it were sat on the edge of their seats in an apocalypse-proof shelter surrounded by enough food supplies to feed a small country; keeping their eyes peeled for solar flares, asteroids and rogue planets on a collision course to Earth.

Doomsday Preppers and the Jehovah’s Witnesses missed their opportunity to wag a reprimanding ‘we told you so’ finger at those who scoffed at their conspiracies.

In anticipation of the apocalyptic day, NASA recently released a video that calmed a lot of fears. Director for the centre of Archeo-Astronomy at NASA, Dr. John Carlson, said that “The whole thing was a misconception from the very beginning.”

It turns out that the hype around the Mayan Long Count Calendar ending on December 2012 was misinformed.

Carlson pointed out that the way that the Mayans perceived time was completely different to the way that we do. None of the thousands of runes, tablets and stones foretold an end of the world. In fact, an inscription on one Mayan temple foretells of events that will occur in the year AD 4772. It appears that we will have at least another 2760 years to repent, despite Rock City’s warning.

NASA experts insisted that there were no known asteroids or comets on a collision course with Earth. If there was a rogue planet coming to destroy us we would have been able to see it in the sky several days beforehand.

They also said that the sun was not a threat; it has been flaring for billions of years and is coming to the end of its flare cycle.

This is not the first time that a doomsday prediction has failed. In the past fifteen years we have survived at least five ‘apocalypses’.

In 1997, a San Diego UFO cult, called Heaven’s Gate, convinced themselves that the appearance of the comet Hale-Bopp was being followed by an alien spacecraft come to destroy us all. Their prediction was correct in one way at least: 39 of the cult members committed suicide on March 26, 1997.

The Nostradamus prediction in August 1999  foretold of a “great king of terror” to come from the sky.

In 2000, two doomsdays were predicted. Many believed that the start of the new millennium would bring global destruction. It was feared that computers were going to be the death of us as they would be unable to tell the difference between 2000 and 1900 dates.

A mass ice age was predicted in May 2000. Later, in 2006, Church minister Ronald Weinland, foretold of the ultimate doom and gloom for the human race that would occur by 2008.

Natalie Popow


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