“Can Facebook get you a place at Oxbridge? Ask these bizarre international applicants…”
Lets face it: even with our top-tier education and magnificent multitudes of squirrels, Nottingham University can never match the fame attached to Oxbridge. Their global eminence means that the Facebook pages for both Oxford and Cambridge attract prospective students from all over the world. Many of these however, seem to have a rudimentary grasp on the English language and think the UCAS process consists of asking for a place on as many statuses as possible. This is my round up of the best attempts in the last few months.
One Oxford hopeful was honest about her personal weaknesses, which has to be good.
Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned that she’d go “anywhere”, it might make Oxford feel cheap. A middle-aged woman from Indonesia did her best to salve the emotional wound though.
Her proclamation of love doesn’t seem to be very sincere though, a day later she asserted:
You’ve got to love the “ok” at the end. She’s basically telling the Uni that they’re going to miss out on the chance to educate her if they don’t play by her rules. She knows what she wants and no-one’s going to get in her way! She’s not the only one asking for financial help – one guy needs assistance in his divine mission apparently.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced visions where we’re told to glorify god with music, but only he had the great idea of asking the University of Oxford’s social media team for financial backing. Genius! Buy this man an instrument pad!
If he wins the award for wackiest poster, the award for the most persistent would have to be an esteemed resident of Seoul. For the past few months he has posted the same message on pretty much everything Cambridge Uni has posted.
Sometimes he’ll post on the same status multiple times, just in case the University has somehow missed out on his genius. He’s also started doing the same on the Oxford page as well, the sly bugger – maybe he’s trying to make Cambridge feel jealous.
We’d be foolish to underestimate him though. His profile claims that he is “exceptionally fascinated with your soul……” Your soul. I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s the resurrected form of Jesus Christ. It would make sense, if you’re going to spread the message of God across the world, what better place to start than somewhere with stupidly fast internet connections?
That’s all very well and good, you might say, but what of Nottingham? Surely we’re esteemed enough to warrant some badly worded foreign attention? You would think so, but I only found one comment on our Facebook page.
It seems like a very reasonable question in all fairness. The University of Nottingham obviously attracts far more informed and reasonable applicants. For that, let’s give ourselves a pat on the back. University of Nottingham is now officially less attractive for oddballs than Oxford or Cambridge. We should probably stick that on the prospectus somewhere.
To see Will try and understand hashtags, go to @WiltHazell