The Socumentaries – Freshers’ Fayre

Hello there, my name is Alex. Nottingham University has like, 200 societies and the kids at Impact thought it would be a laugh if I went and tried some of them out and told you all what I think. Not sure if you want to pay that membership fee? Whether it’s BladeSoc or BlowSoc, I’ll be there interviewing the president, attending the socials and getting involved so you don’t have to. You bunch of ingrates.

Soc-umentary –   A factual article about a society, presenting the facts with little or no fiction.  As in, ‘Did you see that socumentary about Bellringing? That shit cray.’

Socumentary #0 – Freshers’ Fayre

This is it; genesis, year 0, the big bang. Freshers’ Fayre; the warm, damp petri dish where the germ of every freshers ambition is sown. And fuck me was it damp. Unless you’ve been living in a well-insulated cave with no windows or access to awkward lulls in conversation, you’ll be aware that the weather in Britain has been even shitter than it normally is. Last year, the weather was so warm that the Freshers’ tent was raining condensed sweat down on the stalls; this year it was just raining rain. It got to the point where the fayre was forced to close on Tuesday, ‘for fear of the structural integrity of the tent’, there’s a joke in there somewhere about Broken Britain probably, IDK.

This didn’t seem to dampen (lol) the spirits of the many hundreds of freshers and returners who turned up on Monday and Wednesday to check out what this year’s cohort of socs had to offer whilst simultaneously procuring as much free promotional crap as humanly possible. I went along to speak to a few of the fresh ones and find which socs were hot and, more importantly, how many complimentary Ocean slinkys they’d acquired (I got two btw).  


Hi, what societies have you guys joined?

Sam: I joined NUSnow and Law, just because it’s meant to help your graduate prospects and the socials sound good, they’re sponsored.

Luc: I’m in the Singaporean society ‘cos I did a student exchange there a while ago and I like that area of the world. That and Flair soc, I used to work in a cocktail bar.

Sam: He’s got a practice cocktail maker in his room!

Got much free shit? 

Luc: I stole this hat off the side of a stall and I got a Sourz bottle opener, but I think we missed out on a lot of the freebies on the first day.

“It’s been really crowded and the weather’s been shit”

Sam: Yeah, I think they should make sure they have enough free stuff every day, or it’s unfair for people who can’t come because of lectures.

What do you think of Freshers’ Fayre?

Sam: It’s been really crowded and the weather’s been shit, I think I’ll just pay for membership online!



Hello, what do you lot think about Freshers’ Fayre?

Chelsea: I think its super exciting! I’m from the states and my university only had 1700 people so this is crazy!

What Societies have caught your eye?

Amy: We really like the look of musicality.

Chelsea: Big Glee fans!

Anything else?

Kate: Harry Potter society. It just sounds really funny, I’m looking forward to trying Quidditch.

Free shit? 

Chelsea: We got loads of free bags and a T-shirt that says I love Vodka.


Anything caught your eye?

Sascha (not pictured): I want to try out a few of the sports and I’ve joined the New Theatre and the Book Club. I was tempted by Kettle Soc as well.

Joined anything a bit weird?

Artur: Not really, I’ve been looking for this one society but it isn’t here. They definitely have it at other unis.

What is it?

It’s just this society where you go to weird places and do some ironing, like underwater or on top of a mountain.

What? So you just take an ironing board and iron up a mountain and take a picture?

Pretty much, but I couldn’t find it here.

Sounds brilliant, you should set it up, you only need like 10 signatures.

I’m gonna do it!

So there you go, it seems making cocktails, Harry Potter and ironing in strange places are in vogue this year. Expect Socumentaries on all of them (well as long as Artur stands by his word). Personally my favourite stalls were NU Snow for this reason:


And the mango card stall, for this reason:


Alex Mawby


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