Albums

Album Review: JLS – Evolution

It’s not often an album, or anything for that matter, renders me speechless. JLS, however, have outdone all that has gone before them in attaining such a feat. The X Factor’s favourite and most successful boy band (well, perhaps second favourite) quite literally bare all in their fourth studio album in as many years. The speed that they are rolling off albums is mindblowing considering the lyrical genius within, you only need to open your ears to the opening verse of ‘Dessert’: “Shawty my dessert, lick her whole body up” (Repeat x6).

From the adoring sweethearts that brought you ballad classics such as ‘Everybody in Love’, comes a filthy twist of fate. The boys/men, as the album title suggests have ‘evolved’ – they have gone from a romantic meal for two at Pizza Express to a no name, no memory, no feelings one night stand.

Next up comes ‘Hottest Girl in the World’ with Aston (the short one that does the back-flips) practicing his very best and almost convincing Justin Timberlake impersonation. Quite worryingly, herein lies the album’s standout track, one which will fill the ‘stuck in the head void’ of many an Oceana frequenter over the coming weeks and months.

“There’s obstacles in my life, I just can’t seem to do right’ wail the boys in future single ‘Hold Me Down’, a comparably downbeat love song with some heartily powerful refrains: “da da da da da, da da da da da”. ‘Give Me Life’ sees further examples of falsetto for Barry Gibb (of The Bee Gees) to envy, backed by a dubstep hurricane and a misplaced unnatural synth whirlwind.

‘Homeless Heart’ is a parting glance at their former nauseatingly loving multi-coloured-chino wearing selves and leads into the synthy glow of ‘Heartrock’, wherein they somehow seem to sample their very own club-bopping ‘She Makes Me Wanna’. And who said Radiohead were overly self indulgent?

Unfortunately for the 10 million record selling foursome (Yes, I know), they have crashed head first into ‘fourth-album-syndrome’ with this oversexed, over-produced misogyny which ploughs through a heady 16 tracks. The X-Factor castoffs have sacrificed their one major selling point; their cutesy charm which propelled them well beyond anyone’s dreams and/or worst nightmares, to align themselves with their globetrotting One Direction/The Wanted nemesi.

Adam Keyworth

…Adam has been listening to Karima Francis – The Author…

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6 Comments on this post.
  • Chris
    8 November 2012 at 12:40
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    This is incredible!!

  • Ryan Hilton
    9 November 2012 at 20:20
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    Take a bow!

  • Pete
    13 November 2012 at 20:23
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    Love it

  • I. Joseph
    14 November 2012 at 10:50
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    Evolution? They should have called it DON’T EVEN MOVE

  • Kamiah
    14 November 2012 at 14:55
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    This is damn wonderful.

  • Ben
    15 November 2012 at 13:15
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    You’ve outdone yourself here Mr Keyworth, excellent!

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