Lara Samme
As ‘Movemeber’ continues to be celebrated and charities for men’s mental and physical health urge the importance of donating, we should reflect upon the dystopian horrors of a ‘man-hating world’.
Vogue Magazine and following trends
‘What Vogue says goes’…
2025 really seems to be the year of loathing straight men, as the idea of having a boyfriend is pronounced as ‘embarrassing’ by British Vogue’s Chante Joseph.
Similarly, The Times’ Ceci Browning also focuses on the repulsive nature of girlfriends who constantly post their boyfriends on Instagram. Yet is this spotlight on the aversion against certain actions taken by straight men brewing a men’s mental health crisis?
November or ‘Movember’ marks Men’s Mental Health Awareness month, with authors such as Owen O’Kane and mental health advocate Matt Johnson sharing their views during a podcast titled Well Enough, hosted by The Independent.
Podcast host Emilie Lavinia opens with “12 million men say they have never spoken about their mental health, and that is 20% of the UK population”. This figure alone emphasises the importance of raising awareness of men’s mental health. Later in the podcast, Owen O’Kane also mentions the “lack of treatment” available and that the landscape regarding men’s mental health is “pretty grim”. Overall, men are less likely to receive therapy than women, with suicide rates significantly higher in men than in women worldwide.
AS CHILDREN WE’RE OFTEN TOLD THAT IF WE GET SEPARATED DURING A SCHOOL TRIP, WE SHOULD IMMEDIATELY GO FIND A WOMAN TO HELP US, PREFERABLY A MUM WITH HER CHILDREN.
Parent stereotypes
Over the summer, my mum and I were talking about my role as a teaching assistant at my local school, I was chatting to her about this little girl who had fallen over, and how I had helped her.
Shortly after this conversation, my mum told me about this incident which occurred when I was a toddler at our local park. My dad was with me in the playground, whilst my mum was sitting on a bench with my baby brother. Suddenly, a little girl fell over and began to cry.
In the moment, my dad froze, unsure whether to go over and help this little girl, or whether this would look suspicious. He just looked at my mum for reassurance, as he was unsure of the right thing to do. Ultimately, the girl’s mum came over to console her.
Yet in this situation, if the role was reversed and it had been my mum in the playground, this would have been completely acceptable and a natural instinct for my mum to have helped.
Therefore, gender stereotypes are enforced regarding thinking the worst of someone as a result of their gender. As children, we’re often told that if we get separated during a school trip, we should immediately go find a woman to help us, preferably a mum with her children.
Are we too quick to judge men and think the worst of their behaviour, based on media representations? As an English student, taking a module called ‘Language and Feminism’, I have had my fair share of analysing misogynistic language, as well as repulsive accounts of murder and rape.
However, we have to realise that these acts are committed by a small proportion of men. And that men like my dad, shouldn’t be put in a situation like that, questioning whether to help a crying child or whether this would look suspicious.
Therefore, have gender stereotypes been blown out of proportion, dismissing the good nature of individuals?
IN OTHER WORDS, THEY’RE TOLD TO ‘MAN UP’
Gender Stereotypes and Emotions
One aspect which I want to elaborate upon is the fact that, or at least in my experience, women seem to be more emotionally open than men. We cry around our close friends and express our emotions easily.
Yet this doesn’t seem to be the case for some men, who find opening up more difficult, and hence suppress their emotions. This can create an inner turmoil of negative feelings, as some men believe the stereotypical traits of a man are to be strong, brave and stoic – or in other words they’re told to ‘man up’.
While some men may be close with their families, and others have partners with whom they feel comfortable opening up to emotionally. Others can be trapped in this cycle of being required socially to appear confident and bear a brave face.
I personally believe that with these conventional views of controlled emotions, coinciding with some women who are in their ‘I hate men’ era, we could be creating a society where straight men are viewed as disgusting to be associated with, unless on a professional basis, where this may be perceived as a forced acquaintance.
We have to realise that our society’s developing ‘male hatred’ may diminish the men we know to be kind and thoughtful, forcing them to become fearful of even approaching women. That, yes, some of Sabrina’s songs are relatable, but there are men out there who are struggling with their mental health, who shouldn’t be stereotyped as ‘embarrassing’ or abhorrent because of their gender.
Lara Samme
Feature image courtesy of Gaby Fisherman Fosbury on Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.
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