Amelie Halliwell
Cheap flowers, a box of Lindors, and an inflated meal – a perfect way to say, ‘I love you’. Love confined to a day, with banners being plastered up as soon as Boxing Day, a capitalist stopgap between Christmas and Easter, what truly is Valentine’s Day? Is it a day for celebration, a day of fake happiness for those in unstable relationships or a way to make those not in relationships feel as if they are missing out on a ‘wonderful occasion’?
Valentine’s Day acts as a harsh reminder of being single in a world driven by the need to settle down in a monogamous relationship.
A day celebrated by couples but dreaded by singletons, for many of whom there is a feeling of missing out. It is as if Valentine’s Day is the symbol of happiness, built up to be the ultimate celebration of love. But between the coupon books and the cheap heart champagne flutes, the set-menu price tags and the expectation of the night, where is the love? The effort of finding a date for the night is often disappointing, with the need to rush into something to feel accepted. Valentine’s Day acts as a harsh reminder of being single in a world driven by the need to settle down in a monogamous relationship.
From a young age, I was told Valentine’s Day was a time to pause and celebrate someone you love, a day to show your love in the midst of a busy life. Yet during my teenage years, there was a certain level of angst around February, with many people feeling that they had to be in a relationship. Although we were only 14, there seemed to be a rush to find someone for a couple of weeks so we could feel as if we were involved in this ‘adult world’ of showing love.
Rather than the day being positive, it becomes a day of pressure.
Is this something we ever truly grow out of? Rather than a need to appear older, there seems to be a need for conformity. We are expected to settle down, work and fit into our endless routine of simply existing. Love is no longer something which is idealised, but rather something which just exists and becomes part of the routine. Valentine’s Day allows for a break in routine and a refresher in a relationship, a day to remind people of their emotions. It’s a day to show love through quality time, gifts and an acknowledgement of each other’s company.
In theory, the concept of the day is beautiful, a recognition of what is ours, which allows us to truly appreciate what is in front of us. However, in tenuous relationships, this day forces a false sense of happiness, wherein one must put on a smile and put aside differences for a day. This presents its own issues, with people having to force emotions. Rather than the day being positive, it becomes a day of pressure. This continues to force conformity in relationships, where there is constant societal pressure to love and be positive.
Since when was love based on what we can afford and not what we can offer as a person?
Valentine’s Day often makes one question what love is and how we should show it in a world dominated by consumerism. For me, the heart-shaped chocolates and the fake roses are a painful reminder of how capitalism has evolved to guilt us into showing our love through the monetary value of the gifts we give. Since when was love based on what we can afford and not what we can offer as a person? A day, beautiful in its history, has quickly become an opportunity for businesses to exploit our insecurities regarding our relationships, for we are truly useless in standing against what has become a normality. The day lost its magic the moment banners were hung from supermarket ceilings, the price gradually creeping up until buying something for your partner seems more like a chore than an act of appreciation. It does bring about the question – can Valentine’s Day be saved?
Simply, there is a need to redefine what it means to us in a modern context. Does it mean gifts, or is it an act of showing appreciation to your partner? When thinking about gifting, we should start to reconsider the meaning behind the present, rather than just what the supermarket has to offer. This doesn’t have to accrue a greater cost, but rather more time to think about the emotional value of the gift to your partner. The day can begin to act as a reminder of why we love and what makes the people around us happy. It can be a day to celebrate platonic as well as romantic love.
we should re-evaluate what the day means to us
In a world driven by monetary gain, it is important to take a step back from this every once in a while. Whilst we should show people that we love appreciation every day, circumstances can be difficult. Having a day set aside for this is not inherently a bad idea, but increased commercialisation has made the day about pressure to conform rather than love in your own way. It forces people into awkward positions, and thus, we should re-evaluate what the day means to us, for we should be able to celebrate in our own way without the pressure of others.
Amelie Halliwell
Featured image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.
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