Advice: Coco Crisis on Housemate Hookups

Got a nocturnal problem that won’t go away? Is what happened that night playing on your mind? Coco Crisis, Impact‘s resident night-out agony aunt is here to help. She’s the friend who will tell you how you really look in those jeans.

“Dear Coco Crisis,

After a few too many ill-advised refreshers at Coco Tang I ended up spending the night with a flatmate. It gets worse; he has a girlfriend. Should I tell her or keep quiet?


Dear Too-Friendly-Flatmate,

Ok firstly  – it takes two to Coco Tango (see what I did there?) and you’ve not forced him into anything (I hope) so don’t feel bad! As you’re single and he’s the one doing the cheating it’s actually completely up to your naughty flatmate to tell his girlfriend what happened. It isn’t your place to tell her. Coco Tang’s latest Instagram post says ‘Hakuna Ma’Vodka’ which they claim means ‘no memories for the rest of your night’. Your flammie may decide to follow this mantra and keep stum! Then hopefully it’ll all melt away unless you suddenly spot a dusky, heavily edited, framed photo of you and your flatmate getting off…

However, he may decide to tell his girlfriend, Be warned: unfortunately women tend to get the blame in these situations. Even if your flatmate is a complete dog his girlfriend is still going to label you the bitch, so keep your head down! You haven’t slept with anyone’s husband… or dad (I hope not anyway)… so you haven’t messed up anyone’s life. If your Flammie was hopelessly in love with his girl he would never have cheated. They’re both better out of it and you’ve probably done her a massive favour. As the single one you’ve done nothing wrong but spend a small fortune on a tooth-destroying drink that comes with a tiny box of popcorn.


Coco Crisis

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