Thou Student Will Survive #1

Thou Student Will Survive is a guide to university – with a difference. Through her personal experience of UoN life, Impact’s resident columnist Olivia shares her student commandments…

Thou shalt not be a Grinch


Up until now I’d banned my housemates from playing Christmas songs. ‘All I want for Christmas is You’ blaring through the house just didn’t seem appropriate in early November – at least not prior to Bonfire Night. Now, however, with the John Lewis and Sainsbury’s adverts popping up on TV regularly, I feel that the time is right to get involved with the Christmas cheer. Make sure you head along to the Winter Wonderland in Market Square.

WARNING: Don’t be a mug and buy a hot chocolate. Everyone loves a hot choccy topped with cream, a flake and marshmallows but be warned the plastic cupful will cost you at least £2.50 when its probably worth about 50p. You’ll only get a generous four mini marshmallows and the drink itself is likely to be lukewarm, cold and slightly watery. I’d recommend making your own at home whilst snuggling up to watch Elf or The Holiday.

Thou must install Find your iPhone


So after a tragic Crisis night, my iPhone finally ‘bit the dust’. When I returned home that evening it was completely untraceable, so it’s with great regret that I bid goodbye to my phone and hope that its new owner is very happy… Please don’t make the same mistake that I did and install the app, it’s made for students like us.

Alternatively, don’t be so stupid as to lose your phone in the first place. Slightly less upsetting but even more embarrassing is the fact that I managed to return home from Crisis minus my shoes. I remember them slipping off but not caring enough at the time to retrieve them. Although slightly confused at the end of the night, I insisted on walking home in the rain as, having lost my iPhone and money, I chose to invest my last pennies in cheesy chips rather than share a taxi home. It’s safe to say that the pair of tights I wore that night will never be quite the same.

Thou must use RefMe


A shout out to all the long suffering humanities students out there. This genius app does your referencing for you. After years of slogging away and leaving my referencing to the last minute I have finally found my saviour. Use it when you’re desperately running out of time as a starting point but beware its not always a hundred percent reliable.

Thou must make yourself unattractive on public transport


Having spent the weekend at home I recently endured a long train journey back from London. I wish I could say I’d endured it alone. Call me unsociable but I prefer my solitude during these times but somehow strangers seem drawn to me for a nice chat. This time it was a 60 year old geezer who smiled toothily at me as his eyes focused on my bag that was clearly placed in the ‘please go away’ position on the seat next to me. Sighing I removed it and plugged in my earphones. The man then asked if I’d like to play Sudoku with him, a request which I politely refused… I can’t think why. The journey was pebbled with awkward small talk, his heavy snores and loud eating of some weird messy dish that, sadly, I can’t name for you. Next time I get the train I think I’ll avoid washing and not brush my teeth or something…hopefully that will repel my many admirers.



Olivia Hajialexandrou

Photo Credits: Camilla Soares via Flickr, insidethemagic via Compfight cc, wicker_man via Flickr, Oliver Quinlan via Compfight cc, vasilennka via Compfight cc.

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