The Trials and Tribulations of Third Year #3

This week, Natalie has realised that being a third year maybe isn’t actually that bad. Recognise how she is feeling? Comment below and let us know!

After having a great week (my fictional relationship with the hot guy at Jubilee gym peaked yesterday when our eyes met over the exercise bike) I decided that I’d focus on the positives of third year. I’ll be honest, unlike my other columns, this one did stump me – but after an hour of sighing and stalking my new bae-to-be on Facebook, I finally came up with a short list of reasons why being a third year is great:

  • You get to look down on anyone younger than you and be preachy: shooting them your best bitch face and sighing, “You don’t know what work is until you get to third year”, then swishing your hair and waltzing away to the library in your tracksuit bottoms and hoodie.
  • After having mixed with some of the craziest and weirdest people on campus, you’ve now successfully whittled down your friendship group to the perfect A Team: the loyal bestie, the Archbishop of Banterbury, the hot but stupid one, the wise Sensei… And of course THAT guy who’s a little too eager to be a woman for fancy dress.
  • You know all the do’s and don’t‘s of nights out. Don’t wear nice shoes to Ocean, NEVER GO TO BLUEBELL, Rock City on a Saturday is like walking into an Iron Maiden concert, and ALWAYS carry a fiver down your bra for the compulsory end of the night nuggets or pizza.

“You’ve now successfully whittled down your friendship group to the perfect A Team”

  • The class rivalries you’ve been building for two years are at their peak: “Oh you got a 2:1, wow!… I got a 1st but whatever…” The eye-rolling and passive aggressive thumbs up in group chats have now come to a head, and the race is officially on to find a job/internship before they do.
  • You’ve finally grasped the concept of putting the bins out. No explanation needed.
  • You can delight in watching the freshers struggle to find a seat round campus, whilst secretly knowing the perfect places to work. BUT YOU’LL NEVER TELL!
  • You’re so desperate to do EVERYTHING before you leave uni that you end up inadvertently having more fun than the previous two years – but you’ll never admit to it because third year is ‘soo hard.’ Plus, if you’re single, you’ll go on more dates than ever simply because you want free food
  • If you’ve lived in the same house for two years, all the local fast food delivery guys know where you live and will never get lost! (So many hours wasted waiting for Dominos!)
  • You’ve built up enough of a relationship with your tutors to have some banter… You’ll be surprised to learn that your tutors are actually real people with real lives and everything! Plus making contacts never hurts.
  • You know all the cheap shortcuts, and you’ve now successfully stolen almost every type of beer glass in existence. Although you can probably never return to the Rose and Crown ever again.

“You’ve finally grasped the concept of putting the bins out”

Also some cheeky hints:

  • deliver KFC, McDonalds and more to your door! Seriously, this revolutionised the way I cry into my takeaway.
  • If you’re ever on Jubilee Campus, there’s a Costa on the top floor of the Business building – it’s 30p cheaper than normal Costas!
  • If you’re looking to boost your CV or learn new skills you can complete FREE online courses at, taught by professors from universities across the country.

So, in summary, although I always rant about how shitty third year is, there are a few things that you can look forward to. But don’t expect another positive column – there can be only one!


Natalie Mallory

Image: Natalie’s personal image.

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