Half way through November, and one month away from that all too familiar festive season. The clocks have gone back, the evenings are getting darker and there’s a lingering frost in the morning. I can sense an ever-growing feeling of excitement. If you’re already thinking about Christmas, then let me try and convince you why you really shouldn’t be.
Now I’m one of those people who absolutely detests and is completely against premature Christmas celebrations, and preparations for that matter. I mean is it entirely necessary to start thinking about poxy stocking fillers in the middle of August? I want to be able to hold on to our so-called summer for as long as is physically possible. C’mon people, let me live a life that doesn’t revolve around one day in the calendar year, which is usually just spent in front of some crappy Christmas TV nursing a food baby. If not, then falling out with each family member individually until there really is no love left.
Looking forward to Christmas that far in advance means basically wasting the year away, because in my book it’s the countdown to the end of the year anyway. I am not going to start thinking about the next year when we are barely through the one we’re in now. So why don’t other people allow me to live in the moment and savour 2016 while we’re still in it? Ok, I guess I’ll accept that summer’s over when it’s over, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to jump into the Christmas celebrations. I mean, there are plenty of other events to look forward to before the big JC’s b’day arrives – why rush it?
“one of my classic premature Christmas nightmares”
These days I can’t even avoid Christmas in October, wondering around Wilko trying to live my day-to-day life, when the leaves are only just beginning to brown, I all of a sudden come face-to-face with what I can only imagine would chase me down the street in one of my classic premature Christmas nightmares (that’s right, Christmas has even started to infiltrate my dreams), a giant beast of a Christmas stuffed bear. Now not only is October a completely ridiculous time to be selling novelty Christmas gifts, but who actually has the time or the space in their house to hide that monstrosity for two whole months. This horror, ladies and gentlemen, is what is known amongst those in the retail trade as ‘Christmas creep’; the tendency for shops to display Christmas merchandise while it’s still summer.
It’s almost as if we are being brainwashed into celebrating Christmas prematurely. The use of Christmas music being played in the shops as soon as autumn is upon us, lets me know of the torture and suffering that I must now go through over the next 3 months. I’m not just talking about this so called ‘Christmas creep’, but also the numbing heights that Mariah Carey’s voice reaches in ‘All I want for Christmas is you’, more like ‘all I want for Christmas is for you to pipe down about it!’ Or the drooling tones of The Pogues’ ‘Fairy Tale of New York’, which sends me into a hangover even when I’m 100% sober. Now I’m not one to believe in superstition and all that malarkey, but isn’t playing Christmas songs that early in advance supposed to give you bad luck anyway?
“I love Christmas, I really do.”
Ok, so after reading the above paragraphs you may now have come to the conclusion that I am somewhat of a ‘Scrooge’, who hates everything to do with Christmas, and the thought of even celebrating it seems like hell. However, you are mistaken. I love Christmas, I really do. But I only love it in small doses and when it is absolutely appropriate to start counting down the days till that magical day arrives, and I can finally get my festive spirit well and truly on.
So, when is it appropriate to start getting excited about the big day then, I hear you ask? Well, in my opinion, it makes sense to start getting excited about the whole thing on December 1st when Advent starts and each day you have the pleasure of eating the ever-decreasing-in-size chocolate from your advent calendar; I’m sure in the near future these aforementioned chocolates will be no bigger than a chocolate chip. But then again we are leaving Europe and Donald Trump is going to be the new president of the United States, so the future of the world ain’t exactly looking bright anyway…
Featured image courtesy of ‘Thad Zajdowicz’ via Flickr.