“I was absolutely f*cked”: The Start of All Good Stories

It’s safe to say I’ve had a fair few weird nights out since starting uni, and I know I’m not the only one. To make myself feel better, I decided to ask some of my fellow hallmates to tell me about their craziest nights out ever. The answers were, shall we say…vibrant? To be fair, I asked them while we were at pre-drinks, so some truths may be questionable. Have a look, and I hope you get as much of a laugh out of it as I did.

Emily, 18, 1st year Medicine

It was my final day of boarding school. We’d had this fancy graduation ball in York but I was still 17 so I nicked my friend’s ID. It looked nothing like me, but against the odds, I managed to get into this club after the event, which finished at 11:30. The curfew at boarding school was strictly 12 o’clock; we stayed at the club til’ 4am.

Stumbling into Maccies afterwards, I bumped into this Russian guy who I’d just got off with in the club. He was absolutely loaded and bought 10 cheeseburgers. Seeing as I had no way of getting back to boarding school – and would’ve got absolutely bollocked even if I had managed to – I stayed with him, the ducks on the river, and the burgers until 6am.

Sarah, 19, 2nd-year Mechanical Engineering

I was absolutely f*cked – the most drunk I have ever been in my life. I have vague memories of pre-drinking in a caravan, going zip-wiring and then promptly throwing up in my friends’ wheelie bin. At the end of the night, I was at the point where you just jump in a randomer’s taxi and say, “just take me anywhere”. I ended up on this really rough council estate and by some miracle found my best friend’s house. I knocked on her door and had tea with her mum at 4am. My friend then came in like, “Why the f*** are you in my house?”

Venetia, 19, 1st year History and Russian

We were at this weird underground club wearing the same shitty leggings we’d been walking around in all day. My mate took off her shoes and somehow lost them. She was dancing around outside while I was helping someone put their love life back together in the bathroom. I came out to find my friend sitting on the floor in this puddle of blood. I was like, “what happened?!” Turns out she had been dancing on glass and I had to take her to the hospital.

Charlotte, 20, 2nd year French

I ended up in a hot tub in South Africa, no idea how.

Alonzo, 19, 1st year Politics and International Relations

I was dancing with this cute Spanish girl in a club. I asked her to take me home to Spain but I don’t think she was impressed. I was very disappointed. My mates and I went back to my friend’s hall and played tennis at 4am. Afterwards, I spooned with my friend; it was beautiful.

Dan, 18, 1st year Gender Studies

I was in Dubai in a shisha café. We decided to go skinny dipping – unsurprisingly the water was freezing, even in Dubai. I was really drunk and ended up losing my clothes. Clearly, I was very naked but I had to call a taxi with nothing but a rock to cover myself with. I’d like to emphasise the fact that it was a very big rock. I had to pay ten times the usual taxi fare ‘cause the driver understandably didn’t appreciate a naked guy being in his taxi.

Katie, 20, 2nd year History

We were at this frat party where the girls all got free shots. Obviously, I took advantage of this. It was in America though, so we were underage and eventually, the police showed up. Everyone went quiet until they supposedly ‘left’. We all cheered but it turns out they were still close by enough to hear us and they all came back. I was so drunk that my friend had to escort me out. All I remembered the morning after was telling this girl she had a nice blouse; I told my friend this and she said, “That was a police officer.” Oops.

Alex, 19, 1st year Pharmacy

This one time I pulled the bobble out of this guy’s ponytail in a club and he punched me in the face.

Pam, 19, 2nd year Biology

I was raised in a strict Catholic family so I’d never really had alcohol before I came to uni (except at Mass). Upon discovering cider I decided I really liked the taste so had several glasses. After that my memory is pretty cloudy. I’d thrown up a fair few times. My friends tell me they ended up having to put me to bed, but the worst part was we were staying in a hostel with these 3-storey bunk beds, and I was on the top. 6 of my pals somehow managed to heave me up onto the top bunk. I blacked out after that.

Lucy, 19, 1st year English

Right before uni, my best pal and I decided to have one final big night before going our separate ways. We ended up crashing an old friend’s party, but we didn’t know anyone else there so we just got drunk in my car. We were drinking rosé and some peach schnapps, which my friend had put in a shampoo bottle for some reason. I got very, very drunk and threw up multiple times out of my car window before climbing out and rolling around in the grass in this random field. To this day, if I so much as smell rosé I start to feel nauseous.

Maddie De Soyza

*Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature image courtesy of ambernambrose via Flikr. Image license found here. No changes made. 


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