REVEALED: housemate who never takes out bins hates Fairytale of New York

A new investigation by Impact has revealed that the one housemate who never puts the bins out for collection also thinks that Fairytale of New York by The Pogues isn’t that good a Christmas song.

Finding time to comment in-between their busy schedule of doing absolutely nothing to help around the house, they said “I dunno, it’s alright but it’s no Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney, is it?”

The offensive comments were made after a sixth successive week of the housemate in question forgetting to take out the bins. “Nobody told me it was bin day,” they protested, despite bin day being the same fucking day every week you idiot.

is there a link between hating Fairytale of New York and being an all-round terrible person?

The investigation – which was compiled after extensive research from the Impact team which spanned several weeks – has been heralded by some as a breakthrough in the field. Fairytale of New York has often been held up as one of the greatest Christmas songs of all time, but until now researchers have only speculated on the link between a lack of appreciation of it and being an all-round terrible person.

“Well they would say that, wouldn’t they?” said one source, commenting on the housemate’s taste in Christmas music. “Bloody rubbish, isn’t it. Get it, rubbish. Cuz they never take out the bins. Make sure you put that in, that’s funny that is.”

“mentioning no names ALEX YOU LAZY PIG”

The authors of the research have argued that there is a correlation between poor taste in Christmas music and being a bad and selfish person who has no consideration for the time and effort other people spend to keep the house running and not looking like an absolute tip, mentioning no names ALEX YOU LAZY PIG.

They have recommended more research in future to look into areas such as whether that one person you know who unironically likes Nickelback also leaves their washing up in the sink for ages so that nobody else can do theirs properly. Just move it out the fkn sink at least, you know? It is hoped such research would give more weight to the correlation the researchers have established.

Jack Taylor

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