This is a bit of a follow-up article from my last one (to all the girls out there – you need to read this). I haven’t written in a while, but I’ve got this sudden urge to write about something that has been bugging me. And my question is – where are all the good guys?
“It feels like nobody wants to invest time into something meaningful.”
Being at university, there is this culture where boys and girls alike are going out, getting drunk and sleeping around. It feels like nobody wants to invest time into something meaningful – it’s about what you can get at that moment. A quick fix for a night, a week, a month; then you move onto the next one. Maybe it’s because guys have so many girls to choose from, I have no idea, but all I can say is that it’s disheartening.
“All I’ve ever wanted is to meet my Prince Charming.”
Not everyone is like this, but in my experience, I haven’t come across one decent guy who wants to take me out and treat me properly. If they do, we go out for a drink or dinner and then they have this expectation that I’ll have sex with them. I’m a very open person and give people chances – I want to believe the best in them, even at my own detriment. If a guy shows me attention, I’m flattered and then five minutes later dream about our future wedding. I know I don’t live in the real world – but for me, all I’ve ever wanted is to meet my Prince Charming.
Giving man after man chance after chance has only eroded my faith that there’s no-one out there for me. If there’s so many people in the world, why am I not meeting the right one? Because it feels that it doesn’t matter how great of a person you are (kind, caring, intelligent), if someone isn’t on the same level as you, they are never going to see those special qualities in you.
“When the guy does text me, but then I later find that all he wants is one thing, my heart sinks.”
Don’t get me wrong, I have had my fair share of kisses in clubs. But I have the right intentions – so when the guy does text me, but then I later find that all he wants is one thing, my heart sinks. It’s like a pattern, happening time and time again. And it only makes me feel empty.
It’s also worth saying to you girls that some men are more transparent than others. I would much rather someone be up front and honest with their intentions – e.g. one guy recently asked me if I wanted to go round his to watch a movie. RED FLAG. Others, however, get a kick out of tricking vulnerable, naive girls. So, they’re the ones to watch out for.
“You do of course question yourself – you wonder what you’re doing wrong.”
So, to pretty much conclude, I want to meet someone. Even when I tell myself to just focus on myself – that someone will eventually come along, meeting someone is always at the back of mind. I know some people don’t feel like this – for example, my friends think I should embrace single-hood and have fun. It’s okay for everyone to say these things when they are in a relationship – I have gone out with guys, but nobody has bought me flowers, nobody has made me feel special. I know it’s not me and it’s them; that a lot of young single men aren’t looking for anything serious. But you do of course question yourself – you wonder what you’re doing wrong.
“How he treats you, is how he feels about you.”
I know that a man isn’t everything and you should be able to enjoy life without a guy. But I know what I want and of course it’s natural to want to be with someone. I study, I do sport – the only time I really meet men is in a bar or club setting. I’ve given dating apps a chance and I can’t even tell you how many guys I’ve spoken to on there – I should probably write a book on my awful Tinder experiences(!). I have even naively thought that men aged 24+ have their lives together and want a relationship, but I was wrong about that too.
I saw this post once and it said: how he treats you, is how he feels about you. And this is constantly in my mind to be honest. I know that there are gentlemen out there and for whatever reason, I haven’t met my Mr Right yet. Maybe it’s not my time, who knows.