Why It’s Okay If You Don’t Make Friends For Life In First Year

Kayleigh Moore

Coming to university is a whirlwind experience. So much is changing, and many people have a lot of expectations about how these years will be the time of their life and that they are going to meet friends for life. But that isn’t always the case, and it may well not happen in your first year at university.

Personally, in my first year I went through a few groups of people. In my hall I got on with a fair few people, but I didn’t click with them as I thought I should. Especially when I compared them to home friendships, which in itself is unfair as I have known friends at home for years, not a matter of weeks.

However, friendships take time to grow and develop. Over my second year at university I have found friendships strengthening and I do believe many will be friends for life, and some of them I didn’t even meet until this year.

There is also a pressure as you move away to university to maintain home friendships. But the reality is that these are likely to change as well and it is about adapting to suit the friendships as all parties grow in different directions.

It is important to remember that not all friendships have the same purpose but that doesn’t make them any less valuable

When I started university, it became blatantly clear to me that me and my home friends are terrible at calling each other and doing long-distance catch ups that are more than just drunk snapchats and dog videos. Yet, when I go home, the strength of these friendships is clear as we have so much to talk about. Even though we no longer see each other every day those friendships are just as strong now as they were at 18, if not stronger.

Sometimes it is important to remember that not all friendships have the same purpose but that doesn’t make them any less valuable. If I started talking about renaissance literature to most of my home friends, they would die of boredom. But some of my uni friends would love that, others not so much.

That’s the beauty of having different circles of friends, not just home friends and uni friends but even within university you may have course friends, society friends as well as housemates all of whom fulfil different parts of your life.

Not everyone finds their BFF at university and that’s okay

Friendships are never easy, especially at this time in our lives when so much changes and often quickly and sometimes unexpectedly. But what is important to remember is that not everyone finds their BFF at university and that’s okay, just as it is okay if you do so happen upon the most wonderful friend ever.

And if you are worried about making friends or that you haven’t found your place yet there are so many opportunities to find new people to click with. Whether that’s through sport, societies or even Communi-Tea. So, don’t worry if first year didn’t bring you friends for life. Give it time and your new brunch buddie could be just around the corner.

Kayleigh Moore

Featured image courtesy of  Eliott Reyna on Unsplash. Image license found hereNo changes were made to this image. 

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