A few weeks ago I paid a visit to the beautiful island of Majorca. However, it was a different kind of visit to my previous one, which could be described as a massive drunken haze. Last time, a miasma of Rushkinoff vodka, loud chart music and inappropriate people doing inappropriate things in inappropriate places, were, upon returning to England, followed by sudden black outs and a pain filled hibernation (NO REGRETS). This time, it was much more chilled out. During this visit, my brother and I travelled to the capital of the island, Palma, to behold the beauty and try the food.
First stop: the surprisingly non-Irish feel of The Guinness House.
After getting lost multiple times, most of these being the result of distractions in the form of beautiful buildings and free samples of cheese and dried sausage, we decided to stop for lunch. In the distance, we saw a restaurant that seemed too good to pass up. It was called ‘The Guinness House’ and had pipes that released a light mist over the no doubt roasting customers to cool them off. I think this is a contender for the award of ‘best innovation in the entire fucking world!’
But now on to the food. You may think that the name ‘Guinness House’ means ‘Irish food’ but you would be wrong so put your hand down and shh. We each ordered iced coffees (which contained ice cream!!) and shared a plate of patatas bravas which was really tasty. The crispy potatoes were obviously good quality and the tomato sauce was tangy and slightly spicy (which beats Heinz ketchup any day), but nonetheless I was disappointed because I was expecting aioli. We also had a plate of sliced, toasted homemade bread rubbed with tomato, served with serrano ham, slices of local cheese, olives and pickles which were marvellous.
Patatas bravas with cheese and Serrano ham from Guinness House
Second stop: Lizarran, go there for una cerveza fenomenal y tapas.
We then popped over to Lizarran for a few ice cold lagers – only 99 cents if you go for the smaller glasses, 1 euro 50 for a larger one. An added bonus if you’re a paying customer (we only bought beers so this counts): waiters and waitresses come around offering everyone little bits of tapas FOR FREE. I’m not too proud to say that this is a big selling point for me as I am a student with a predictably shitty bank balance. Service was a bit slow but what can you expect when it’s so popular? Just have a seat and enjoy the free treats.
Our last stop: Gastronomía de Mallorca.
Our final stop was the gastronomic market in Palma, which sells cooked food, meats, vegetables, wine and beer from different cultures. I practically had a… um, never mind… This place is marvellous and is set up as a strip with several stalls on either side, as shown below.
Gastronomía de Mallorca
My brother and I decided to try a few out but unfortunately couldn’t afford to try all of them due to that aforementioned poverty! So here’s a quick fire of what we tried:
- The croquettes stall – or to give it its technical term: JESUS’ GIFT TO THE WORLD. It was rather tasty, and by tasty I mean bloody delicious. We had the sample board of 12 varieties with a glass of red each – the ’13 cantaros, cizales, tempanillo’ which, to my untrained taste buds, was very enjoyable.
Spanish Croquettes
- The Thai stall – We shared a bowl of king prawn Pad Thai which was tasty, but it had the misfortune of being after the croquettes and it just didn’t quite measure up. Definitely worth a try, however.
- The jamon stall – We got a paper cup of two types of cured cam. One was quite chewy and fleshy in texture, like dried rare steak and the other was more like jerky. I preferred the second one because it tasted meatier.
So that’s my experience of Palma, Majorca! I hope this has set you up with an idea of what to look out for if you visit. Pop by these eateries and I swear you won’t be sorry. (Side effects include feeling rotund and satisfied; you have been warned).
Jake Tenn
Images: Jake Tenn. Featured image: Super Rabbit One via Flickr
