Advice

Dear Agony Aunt: I’ve never been to Nottingham before…

Dear Auntie Carol…

I have never been to Nottingham before – what is there to do?

Auntie Carol says…

Oh my Christ. I knew the day would come, I just didn’t know it would come so soon! This is my first question from outside of Nottingham – Auntie Carol has gone GLOBAL!

Now, I am an influencer who knows her worth – I want to get paid (in CASH) by every place that I namedrop. I know my rights!

“I’m going to describe a day in the life of yours truly in Nottingham”

To answer this question, I’m going to describe a day in the life of yours truly in Nottingham. For the purpose of this exercise, let’s imagine I have come into some money (NOT by selling foot pics), so I will be visiting a number of places in one day.

Now I’m just going to come out and say it: my name is Carol and I am a brunchaholic. I like to start every day the right way – at Bill’s (#ad) with some eggs! I’m very specific about how I like my eggs – I got them frozen a while back and I’d like them to stay that way!

After this, I normally like to get some exercise. I’m not really a fan of the gym – too many scowling men. Instead, I find the BEST way to get my blood pumping is by bouncy castle! Let me tell you, the only way you’re going to see me sweating is if it’s bouncing up and down! Planet Bounce (#ad) is full of inflatables to bounce on to your heart’s content.

If I fancy spicing up my Instagram story at any point in the day, then my favourite Nottingham Instagram spots are Nottingham Contemporary (#ad) and Sneinton Market (#ad).

I like to end the night with bubbles and a boogie. Propaganda (#ad) is my favourite place to do this – I don’t know what it is, but the people there just dance better! Their student night is Wednesday, when students get in free and drinks are £1! AND, I can tell you from experience, that the DJ will always play Ariana Grande when requested.

After this, I normally go home in someone else’s Uber – so that my 5-star rating isn’t affected when I start singing to the radio – ready to do it all over again the next day!

Alexa play ‘thank u, next’ (this song isn’t relevant to the question, but it IS a BOP).

Ask me another question here! All the companies I advertised can contact me about payment here, also!

Auntie Carol

Featured image courtesy of Dun.can via Flickr. Image license found here. 

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