TikTok and Relationships: The Green and Red Flags

Evie Seal

Advice on relationships and your love life has always been a popular part of society and culture. Whether it be an agony aunt column in a magazine or calling into a chat show, people like to hear and see others’ experiences with relationships. TikTok plays a major part of social media consumption nowadays, with most people either posting their own videos or watching others. It’s fair to say that TikTok is very influential, so Evie Seal questions whether is it a positive or negative thing that people are showing the ups and downs of relationships on TikTok?

We’ve all had experiences of our partners in relationships taking too long to respond or cancelling plans, but should we be taking advice from TikTok videos on our relationships? Firstly, not every relationship and experience is the same. However, nowadays with the rise of concepts like ‘situationships,’ many of us are experiencing very similar relationship situations. To see and hear others who have gone through the same thing and seeing support from other women, can be extremely comforting. 

It can also remind you or others that perhaps you’re accepting a standard from your partner that is below your worth and it’s not until others are highlighting these issues or ‘red flags’ that you realise it is a huge issue in your relationship. This builds a sense of community between many women and can make them feel understood and heard by a larger audience. Being able to relate to other’s experiences can help many to not feel alone if they’re struggling in their relationships. 

Relationships are about working through things and communicating

The trend of the ‘if he wanted to he would’ can be impactful in a positive or negative way. Nowadays, many people can settle for less than they deserve. This influence can come from social media, with people posting about their relationships all the time, only showing the good side of things. Therefore, people feel that in order to be truly happy they need to be in a relationship, which often results in people settling. This TikTok trend highlighted some of these issues, showing some partners who didn’t react well when their partner would surprise visit them at university or fly to another country to see them. 

Equally, these trends can tend to over-emphasise issues which may not truly be that big. Encouraging people to end their relationships over small, arbitrary things isn’t always the best way forward. Relationships are about working through things and communicating, not just running away after one small disagreement. Social media is saturated with a multitude of opinions, so everyone will always have a different view on what is right and what is wrong. It’s important to consider these opinions, but not for them to be the driving force behind your decisions. Ultimately, these videos should never have a positive or negative affect on you, so you have to take their advice with a pinch of salt.

They can point out red flags or narcissistic behaviour

On the whole, we shouldn’t be making drastic decisions in our relationships based on the videos we see online and on TikTok. Some have good intentions and they can be a good way to indicate to some people that they are settling when there are serious issues in their relationships. 

They can point out red flags or narcissistic behaviour and can make many individuals aware of behaviours which are perhaps not ‘normal’ in a relationship. However, many videos can spread misinformation and promote actions which aren’t always the best to take. So, like most things, it’s important to always make up your own mind and not let others influence you too much.

Evie Seal

In-article image courtesy of Russ Ward via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.

In-article image courtesy of @will_santino_illustration via No changes were made to this image.

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