Impact Features officially brings to you their brand new Agony Aunt! University life is riddled with confusing, scary and unfamiliar issues that can be harder to overcome as you live away from home and your normal support system of friends and family. However, the Impact Features Agony Aunt is here to give out its pearls of wisdom to all in need of it!
“Dear Agony Aunt,
I’ve been wilding out this term and basically sleeping around because I’ve only been single for the first time in ages the past few months.
One of the people I have been seeing is really nice and I’ve realised I deeply like him. He’s just said he wants to be exclusive (even if it is casual) and I don’t know what to do; obviously I really like him but I’m not ready for anything serious and I like the lack of pressure that has come with being single but I also don’t want to say ‘yeah let’s be exclusive’ when maybe that’s not something i want to do yet?? What the hell should i do?
Love, A Complete Idiot”
Dear ‘A Complete Idiot’,
I know it’s difficult to do but you need to think about your own wellbeing. Coming out of a serious long-term relationship can be daunting, and it sounds like you’ve been enjoying being a singleton. And so you should! Take a breather, relax and have some fun because at the end of the day you’re only young once.
At the same time, if this guy is as nice as you say he is then he’ll understand if you want a bit more time before coming to a decision. Talk to him about how you’re feeling about all this. It’s better to be open in the beginning rather than having regrets later down in the line. Don’t make a rash decision just because you’re scared of losing him.
Having a casual relationship (if that is what he’s suggested) could be good as it allows you the flexibility to still have your own space and get to know him better. This way you can see if it leads into anything more serious or conversely if it fizzles out.
However, the main thing you need to do is talk to him about all this. Communication is key. If he agrees and gives you more time to come to a decision or keeps it casual for the meantime then a) you know he’s a good egg and b) it gives you your own space to do what you want without feeling claustrophobic.
It sounds to me like your stuck between a rock and a hard place. You really like this guy and see a lot of potential in him but it’s too soon and too much at this moment in time. Whatever you decide, don’t be scared of your decision. While being in a relationship can feel fulfilling, being single has just as many perks too!
Love, The Impact Features Agony Aunt xxx
To post your concerns and issues and hear back from the Impact Features Agony Aunt visit our page here. Please note, in order to remain anonymous, make sure that if you have a google docs account that you are NOT LOGGED IN when you post!
Featured Image courtesy of ‘Alan Levine’ via Flickr. Image licence found here.