I myself am in a relationship (apologies to the single readers as I declare my status around February 14th – I will be lucky if I get a card through the post), and very importantly PDA is something I still take seriously in my relationship – on the rare occasion that we have both managed to change out of our pyjamas, and physically leave the house in some attempt of ‘date night’. PDA, standing for Public Displays of Affection is a vague name for something which can be witnessed in public as a very horrific, and scarring experience for those spectating.
‘Affection’, now what does that mean to you? The name itself gives rise to so many interpretations, and thus allows many couples to exploit this freedom in the public domain. ‘Affection’ can be as simple as holding hands, but also exchanging saliva in a jam-packed restaurant. I, therefore, demand that the name changes to PDHH (Public Displays of Holding Hands) and politely leaving it there, perhaps establishing some form of policing to maintain this level of affection. I have investigated a spectrum of affection, identifying which is appropriate for public and which should be kept in the bedroom.
Firstly, as already mentioned, holding hands is the smallest degree of affection possible and I believe this behaviour to be appropriate for public viewing.
“Those who think it is necessary to slide their hand into their partners pockets”
The next level is hugging – which comes in many different forms (some extremely cringey), the PG hug involves a sensitive wrap around, with hands placed either on your partners shoulders, or (pushing it) on their lower back and holding this position between 2 – 5 seconds max, however those who ruin this are the bum fondlers, and particularly those who think it is necessary to slide their hand into their partners pockets, and in fact – squeeze.
Moving on quickly… kissing. I personally don’t have an issue with a simple kiss on the cheek, or even a peck on the lips. However, when the tongues start getting involved you have clearly forgotten where you are (please go home and continue).
“fondling in unseen places is quite frankly beyond affection”
Further to this, without getting too explicit, fondling in unseen places is quite frankly beyond affection, and instead is classed as sexual activity. Please, if you are in a relationship or in the earlier stages of ‘seeing someone’, and can pin yourself on this ‘Affection’ spectrum, put yourself in the position of those just trying to get on with any other day, and ask yourself, is it too much?