“re-pork-ussions” for Students and Prime Ministers

It is all disgustingly reminiscent of the squealing intimacy between a fictional Prime Minister and an alive pig on Charlie Brooker’s first episode of Black Mirror. But this morning, weary eyed commuters opened their Twitter feeds and thought they were still dreaming. David Cameron – allegedly – in his time at Oxford University “inserted a private part of his anatomy into the [dead] animal’s mouth”.

That is, according to a newly released book by Lord Ashcroft and Isabel Oakshott. The incident apparently occurred during an initiation ceremony for the debauched Piers Gaveston Society.

Getting piggy with it, isn’t illegal. Section 69 (lol) of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 prohibits anal or vaginal intercourse with a live animal. However, possession of illicit substances is. Call Me Dave also alleges that Cameron allowed cocaine into his London home and smoked cannabis with his Flam Club. Still, the damage is done. As Thatcher is remembered as Milk Snatcher, Cameron from hence forth shall be known as Pig Shagger.

For once, the elites of Westminster won’t be chortling over their champagne.

Laddish behaviour and masculine debauchery are not just issues for disenfranchised sports teams. Alcohol, drugs and sex are to University students, as bacon is to sandwich. Co-eternal and co-existing.

“The things that we do at University can stick with us for the rest of our lives”

Whether the allegations are unfounded or invented, there is something that we can all take away from #piggate. The things that we do at University can stick with us for the rest of our lives.

Rest assured that 99 per cent of students probably managed to avoid sexual intimacy with their dinner. But, in a poll conducted by The Tab, 70 per cent of students admitted to taking drugs at least once in their lives. These harmless, experimental and raptured visitations into chemical utopias should not determine future conduct in employment.

There is a line here. Past behaviour is indicative of current character. Taking drugs demonstrates a willingness to defy authority and law. Yet, adults accept increasing responsibilities as they grow up, changing their conduct and demeanour. We should be judged less by the things that we do as students, unless it involves the Prime Minister teabagging an animal carcass.

Rachel Lewis

Image: Sam Michel

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