We’ve been told to never judge a book by its cover. But what if they were honest? What if book covers, and incidentally their titles, actually told us the truth about the stories they held? Would you pick them up?
Impact Arts have chosen their top ten book covers, and invented our own personal titles to depict what is TRULY going on inside these stories, and what affects it has on us. Let us know your own titles for books you’ve read – they’ve got to be better than the one’s they actually have, right!?
1) THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green
You’re Going to Cry – Okay?
You’re going to be really upset and cry every time you see the word ‘Okay’ for the next week. This won’t be the first or the last time you read this, or see a million quotes from it on Facebook.
2) OF MICE AND MEN by John Steinbeck
Lennie and His Quest for the Rabbits
Just let him tend the god damn rabbits George, you’d have solved so many problems.
3) THE BELL JAR by Sylvia Plath
It’s a Man’s World
BLAME all males and become a feminist at the end of the novel. Long live womanhood! This lady is actually sane, it’s the rest of the world that’s making her go stir-crazy (the story of every woman’s life).
4) HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN by J.K. Rowling
A Wolf, a Moon and a Time Travelling Geek
It’ll go forwards and backwards in time so fast you won’t know who’s alive, who’s friends with who and what the hell the big winged bird thing is doing in all of it. Watch out for the werewolf!
5) PERFUME by Patrick Süskind
Murderer with Huge Nose
Basically if you smell terrible, you won’t die. Stay away from creepy French men in Paris, especially those out to make Perfume…
6) ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
Talking Animals Are Never a Good Sign
When pigs start dressing up in clothes, living in houses and ruling over the farm, you know it’s got to mean more than just a typical day in the countryside.
7) GO SET A WATCHMAN by Harper Lee
Stabbing Atticus In The Back
Scout’s return to Maycomb as an older lady, sadly no longer featuring Boo Radley, fun or games. Instead we get more racism, seriousness and possible hatred towards a loved character. No thank you.
8) THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Rich Girls Don’t Like Poor Boys
Gatsby, it was never going to work. You (possibly) had more chance with Nick. No one ends up happy, but the drama is worth the melancholy!
9) ROOM by Emma Donoghue
How Many Emotions Can You Fit in One Room?
Getting locked in a room for years will send you on a roller-coaster of emotions, so much so you won’t know what book to even begin after this one. Requires a good sit down.
10) JANE EYRE by Charlotte Brontë
How Much Sass Has One Woman Got?
Jane is the woman we all want to be; deciding her own future, her own marriage, becoming a millionaire overnight…all seems great! The struggle to get there however takes longer than 100 pages…
There you have it, what ten classic novels should be called if life was fair, and authors were honest.
Jessica Rushton
Image credit: Jessica Rushton
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