For the last ten years, sleepovers, bad nights, parties and everything in-between have been filled with the music of Mamma Mia. Of course, the question since the films initial release in 2008, is which character are you? Well, now since the release of Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again!, there are finally enough characters (sort of) for this to be determined by your star sign!
Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd): CHER
It’s Leo season and a storm is coming. No one remembers this character’s actual name, and do you really need to? Of course not, stupid, its Cher! You’ve crashed the party and stolen the lime light in the most elaborate album promotion probably in history. You’re not invited to the party, but here you are showing up and stealing the show anyway.
Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd): FERNANDO
The back-bone of this new hotel venture, you are the emotional support we need throughout the new film. Your silver fox looks, and suave suits really add to the male dynamic in this film, and I think everyone appreciates this. You have a flare for the dramatic, which comes when you try to steal the show at the end. And you get to duet with Cher, which should be enough for anyone, stop being greedy.
Libra (September 23rd – October 22nd): HARRY
Let’s all be honest, off all of Sophie’s Dads you’re the least likely to have a biological connection. But, you’ll accept a third, as it gives you an excuse to sing ABBA tunes as poorly as possible (but not the worst) either on a beautiful Greek island, or nude in your lounge hoovering the evidence of last night away. You’re feel-good, carefree, and we love you.
Scorpio (October 23rd – November 21st): TANYA
Keeping everyone in awe of her since day one, Tanya has Big Dick Energy and the ability to hypnotise all. ‘Does Your Mother Know?’ will always be iconic and is permanently playing in your brain. You might be one of the more mature of your friends, but don’t let that stop you from cutting loose. With infamous high kicks and elegant classic style, Scorpios never lose their class and remain the Queen of all our hearts.
Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st): BILL
Your tendency to live life on the edge has got you into some mysterious situations in your time, including the wonderful little island of Kalokairi. Everyone fell in love with you in Here We Go Again, and you deserve the award for being the best Swede for ‘Why Did It Have To Be Me’ alone. The bad boy of the group is a hard role to have, but you rock it with Hawaiian shirt charm.
Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th): ALI AND LISA
You were there at the most confusing moment in Sophie’s life, and then, you were forgotten. No, some may forget, but those who really care will wonder where you are and miss you. True, you’re no Rosie and Tanya, but your contribution to the wedding was outstanding and we miss you girls. Gone, but never forgotten.
Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th): SKY
You have big ideas, like putting Villa Donna on the line, and are willing to go out of your way to make big things happen. You’re not entirely sure where you sit in this world of multiple fathers, but you’re open to anything. Your performance of ‘Lay All Your Love On Me’ was an essential moment in many people’s sexual awakening and you have a cheeky smile that lets on that you know.
Pisces (February 19th – March 20th): SAM
Sam… The Architect… Had to go home, to get married. Honestly, many people still haven’t forgiven you for breaking Donna’s heart, but we are all working on it as it is obvious that she really loves you. Maybe singing isn’t your forte, but your artistic abilities and groovy hippy looks help maintain that shine in your eye and dance in your step.
Aries (March 21st – April 19th): PEPPER
Everyone’s favourite bartender, you can turn the heads of the greatest women, even if she tries to deny it later on. Your youthful energy and flirtatious charm means that everyone on the island enjoys having you around, and you secretly know that you’re the better looking of all your friends.
Taurus (April 20th – May 20th): ROSIE
You’re a writer, a lone wolf. Except when it comes to your friends, then you’re incredibly dedicated and willing to fly half way around the world just to see your best friend’s daughter getting married or support her when she is dumped. You’re the kind of person everyone needs in their life, and who doesn’t love ‘Take A Chance On Me’ as a cry of honest desperation.
Gemini (May 21st – June 20th): SOPHIE
Nothing quite like having three men fighting for your affection, especially if its three millionaires fighting for a third of your paternity. Your curiosity about your identity initiated this whole farce, and ever since then it’s been a song and a dance. You’re stubborn and independent like your mother, and brave, loving and funny like all your dads.
Cancer (July 21st – July 22nd): DONNA
Whether it be Lily James or Meryl Streep, Donna is a character who is caring and protective as well as wild and fun, and most essentially, irresistibly charming. Who else could be an Oxford graduate and practical enough to build a hotel from scratch? Donna is an inspiration to all of us, not only for being able to make three guys fall so deeply in love with you that they’ll travel to Greece thirty years after your relationship just to see you again, but also for those dungaree looks. Icon.
Holly Wilson
Featured image courtesy of [puamelia] via Flickr. Image license found here.
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