Girls group chat a bit dead with your latest love life disaster? House mates bored of your relationship woes? Just want some honest advice from people who’ve made a whole society dedicated to ensuring love blossoms at UoN? The matchmaking team are here to help! Write in your dating questions to matchsoc@nottingham.ac.uk.
I fancy a guy from a society I’ve joined recently but I don’t want to make the first move. How do I show him that I’m interested?
I think subtlety is key just in case the feelings aren’t reciprocated and to prevent any awkwardness.
A good starting point would be to make yourself known in the society. Be social, be engaging and get your ideas out there. He will be sure to notice you if you seem keen and are openly keen to engage and get involved.
“If that goes well, naturally conversation should flow onto him as a person and other things he is passionate about”
Maybe start by talking to him individually during the society about the society. If that goes well, naturally conversation should flow onto him as a person and other things he is passionate about. If it’s not naturally flowing onto other topics, then just ask about his course or what he’s been up to and see where it goes from there.
If you are in the same society, then you’ll probably have each other on social media platforms. If not, be sure to add him on there. From there, message him privately about where the next meeting is? Or if he knows what you are doing in the next meeting? Or, if he is going to the next social? Etc.
This opens the opportunity for flirty banter and getting out of the friend zone.
Hope it goes well!
I like this guy on my corridor but don’t know if I should go for it because if it ends badly then it could be awkward for the rest of the year, what do I do?
“But as you do like him and if things aren’t awkward, it could be literally the most convenient thing ever”
It depends. Are you an awkward person? Is he an awkward person? Do you share a bathroom (will you bump into him in your towel?). If the answer is yes to these questions, I personally would advise not to go for it unless you REALLY like him, because honestly the anxiety of things getting super awkward probably isn’t worth it (speaking from experience here). But as you do like him and if things aren’t awkward, it could be literally the most convenient thing ever.
I like this boy in my sports society and I want something serious with him, but I’ve slept with a different boy on the team and I think the guy I like thinks of me as just a shag not a long-term partner, even though we haven’t slept together and I’ve only slept with one boy on the team. How do I make him see me as a serious option?
I mean hopefully he can take you seriously and get over that. So, I would say just keep seeing how it goes and maybe try not to sleep with him until you’re sure he doesn’t just see you as a shag. But if it is an issue I would say drop him, if he can’t get over something minor like that, it’s not worth your time.
If a guy says, “you’re the one”, but then says he can’t commit and needs a five-day break and then another five-day break, what do you do?
Warning: Not for the faint stomached, cringe level 9.5/10.
First you should ask yourself three main questions:
- What was it that drew you to this guy in the first place?
- Is this relationship an equal partnership where you both put in as much effort as the other?
- Finally, is he worth waiting for?
It’s tempting to say, if your answer to the last two is “no”, it’s time to move on. But relationships aren’t that easy and if/when feelings are involved it can be all the more difficult. It’s worth having a conversation with him to see exactly what it might be he’s expecting from his break, that way you can decide if it’s something you can both work on together. If he is having difficulty committing and you want more, you could be going in different directions which can be tough for the both of you.
That being said, always keep in mind exactly what it is you’re looking for and if you’re not sure, you’ll have some sort of instinct of what’s right for you and what isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with being self-centred, it makes looking out for yourself that much easier.
“but who has ever listened to their head or rational friends when it comes to love? The heart wants what it wants…”
The dating game is complicated, and it requires work on both parts, so you should make sure that the person is willing to put in as much effort as you are. They should be open to the idea of you both travelling your own paths, but at a similar pace, helping each other get to the same destination. Personally, if a person can’t see how lucky they are to have you or can’t make up their mind they aren’t worth the time, but who has ever listened to their head or rational friends when it comes to love? The heart wants what it wants…
UoN Matchmaking Team
Featured image courtesy of Jesper Sehested via Flickr. No changes were made to this image. Image license found here.
Follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page for more articles and information on how to get involved.
