Summer Revely
One minute you’re staring into their eyes, imagining your long future together, with two children, three dogs and a cottage somewhere picturesque. The next, they clap as the plane lands, and you’d rather be shot back into the air than ever spend another minute with them. That feeling of repulsion is what the ick’s all about.
If you’re feeling picky, or weirdly guilty for avoiding someone for a seemingly obscure reason, research shows that you are not alone. One study showed that 50% of people are familiar with the term ‘the ick’, and when it was explained to participants what the ick means, 70% said they’d felt it.
it’s not your own fault that you’re disgusted by an unsmooth attempt from your date to hold your hand
First coined from the 90s comedy-drama series Ally McBeal, ‘the ick’ can be defined as “a sudden and visceral aversion to a romantic partner, often triggered by behaviors or characteristics that superficially signal incompatibility or low mate quality”. It’s believed that in part, these instincts to run come from the evolutionary, reproductive advantage in our ancestors’ time in finding a good, strong partner. After all, finding a mate was essential back in the day for your tribe to live on. You could therefore argue that it’s not your own fault that you’re disgusted by an unsmooth attempt from your date to hold your hand – it may simply be evolutionary instincts telling you that they’re not a good mating partner. But whether it really is a rapid rejection mechanism programmed in your neural networks from our ancestors, or if you’re just a bit fickle, is for you to decide.
if you’re trying to impress the girl of your dreams, research shows that you should preach feminism always and keep your outfits fresh
What’s more fun is to discuss some common icks. Personally, an unexplainable ick I feel most notably is anyone, literally anyone, using one of the free Kellogg’s cereal bowls from the 2000s. I simply cannot stand them.
While that’s quite an unusual one, research shows that both males and females do tend to have unique, seemingly random icks, but that fall into similar categories for each of the sexes.
to get a guy’s attention, definitely don’t trip over or mention whether or not your star signs are compatible
Top icks found in females tend to centre around their partners being publicly embarrassing, having bad fashion or being misogynistic. So if you’re trying to impress the girl of your dreams, research shows that you should preach feminism always and keep your outfits fresh. While public embarrassment is another common one in males, being overly trendy (specifically, having interest in astrology), and having high vanity or engagement with social media top the charts. So to get a guy’s attention, definitely don’t trip over or mention whether or not your star signs are compatible in the early stages.
While there are clear differences between the sexes in what strikes a nerve, there are also clear other factors that contribute to someone developing icks more or less frequently. So if you’re that friend who just can’t avoid wanting to run away for seemingly meaningless reasons, this part’s for you. Research shows that disgust propensity correlates with ick frequency – basically meaning that if you tend to be more sensitive to and feel actively sickened by disgusting things more often than the average person, you may also be more likely to develop the ick. Another is other-oriented perfectionism. If you’re commonly called a perfectionist, you may view your partner as a reflection of yourself, and therefore feel icks more intensely as you might subconsciously believe that they make you less perfect. Feeling the ick-frequency also was massively increased in narcissists; take that as you will…
Overall, I’d say the science behind the ick shows us that it’s ultimately a perfectly normal tool that’s evolved within us to detect any potential incompatibilities in a partner, and to move on at the first sight of any. I think it’s also important in today’s society to not let it guide you too much in your choices though. While there are indeed plenty more fish in the sea, next time you can’t bear to do anything but ghost a potential partner because the ick’s just too much, have a think about whether it’s really what you, or our ancestors, want.
Summer Revely
Featured image courtesy of The HK Photo Company via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.
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